Me, Myself, and my Massive Indecision

So doing it. Behold!

My latest greatest creation--and still I post with such trepidation.

Here be:

Me, Myself, and my Massive Indecision

Ever indecisive.
I will, I won't
I do, I don't
I’m in, I’m out

Such thoughts are strewn
Across my mind
Like shadows on
A foreboding moon

To delve in this darkness
Awakens the boon
Of a vivid muse
And death coming soon

To avoid this life
For a time less pressed
Does not relieve
What causes such stress

But to sit in sorrow
Lost in my head
I may as well wither
And fall away dead

So I'm ever indecisive
I can't, I could
No matter if do
Or know I should

 -Nicole Hill

Poem number two. Yes, this is the one that my previous blog post was referring to.

Step one.

Fear exists because of theft, and it will haunt my mind for every moment that I live.

But still... Here I am, and here this is.

Over myself, I am?

...Doubtful.

Nevertheless, 'tis good fun either way; there is nothing like a poem to help me vent.

Rereading it reminds me of how I felt when I was putting my fingers to these onyx keys--how many days ago now?--and how I felt when I wrote that blog post about not writing the poem as a blog post. It also makes me recall every time I mentioned, thought about, or read this poem since.

Progress I am attempting to make, yes--but furthering oneself is not simple, no.

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte

Ghost Of Android Market

Finally, I have the first part of Ghost of Android Market up! 

I was quite surprised how long it took me to get it to this point, actually--reading over it now, it does not seem like it is anywhere near as much work as it felt like was when I was typing it up.

Guess that just means I shall have to keep updating it, eh?

The apps that I have personally reviewed and written about are the ones that I use the most (or find the most useful) within the numerous sets that I have tried out so far. 

They include (but are not limited to):

• a battery saver, 
• a flashlight,
• a compass, 
• a translator, 
• gas price checker, 
• a weather forecaster, 
• antivirus software, 
• easy file sharing 

...'Not limited to' because I also include:

• an app that will let you take a picture and see the Google image results for that image, 
• an app that will let you view web video on your mobile like you could on a PC, 

And an app that is either:

• a crossbreed between winzip and windows explorer, 
• a dictionary with a word-of-the-day widget, 
• a versatile voice/paint/note pad,
• a security lock
• a star map.

Best thing?

These are all free for download for an android device. I have included links to the developers original websites and their app logos within the Ghost of Android Market page. Enjoy!

That's right--FREE. Check them out!

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

Repeat yet somehow Important to me

"Through this time we can't conceal
All this pain manifests as real
As who we were peels away
To reveal life's cruelest sway
But through it all we still fight
Doing what rarely feels quite right
Yet someday when your struggle is done
Look back on this and know you won"
- Nicole Hill 

Why post again? Because I took the time to type it out, not just post a picture of all that time I took before to write it out. Am I going to post my other poem?
..Run. Run away.

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

Poetry & Perhaps Over Pondering

Told you I may post some poetry. ^.^

        This is one that I wrote & dressed up in Canmore. Shared it with some of the people I met there, as well; had positive feedback. Thus, I decided it is a good way to start posting something 'else' of mine on here. (Besides other random insanity and strangely sketched pictures, that is.)

I've made numerous other 'gluten-free' inquests lately; unfortunately, most of them have turned out like the pizza (which I am still reluctant to post): a work in progress. There is potential in the salmon recipe--all sour cream, red & green onion, garlic and lemon deliciousness. The picture I took wasn't terrible, but it didn't exactly follow the same format as my other pictures have. Good thing that the pictures just have to include the proper content and the background surface does not matter all that much. (Unless you're a stickler for consistency like I am in certain matters.)

         I stand here at this impasse in my life, pondering what to do next. Already I have created some content for this blog, read it over, and thought: nope. Censoring myself, am I now? I am feeling the internal pinch to do something monumental in zero time, and I have not been following what needs to happen for that to become even a remote possibility. Instead, I have been focusing on other things that have somehow left me feeling empty, despite their importance and promise of reciprocation. Perhaps I am not being patient enough. Maybe I am afraid.
Still afraid, that is.

The other day I was battling viciously with myself over my complete indecision in the face of so many choices, and I wound up writing a poem about it. (This is common for me.) Wrote it via keyboard (not common anymore), even in the blogger post window (never done that before)--and wound up reading it over and hoarding it away, just like so much of my work (I always seem to do this). Why? Same thing that plagued me before I wrote it--complete indecision.

         I have been doing a great deal (perhaps even an unhealthy amount) of thinking on the subject, wondering if I should post it or not. Watched a movie and an anime episode in the past few days (well, more than one of each) that had quotes that still stand out to me.
These are not exact, but more or less the points that I recall.
One was from 'We Bought A Zoo': "All you need is twenty seconds of insane, embarrassing courage."
The other was from episode one of 'Eureka Seven AO': "It seems to be human nature to wait."
Food for thought, indeed.

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

Grammar Nazis

Where do you draw the line on correcting people's grammar?

I seriously endeavor to not do that anymore. 

I don't correct people if they use the wrong word or have incorrect grammar. 

I don't complain about how difficult it is to understand some people or become impatient and short with someone who does not:

• speak or write in full sentences
• use magnificently huge words
• always make themselves transparently clear in every phrase they use or line they type.

So go ahead, you pompous bastards. Hold it over their head; belittle them, and make what you view as their idiocy worsen. 

That's what you sick, sycophantic psychos live for, isn't it? 

To stand as a monument of written and spoken English greatness, unattainable by us glaringly uneducated, unlucky folk?

Who says I can't rant and rave? 

I know this may seem out there even for me, but I have yet to really express the 'shout, shout, let it all out' side of me. In fact, it's been a long time since I got all logical lunatic on anything, really. That has a lot to do with my fear of being wrong and looking like an idiot.

I have two answers for myself when when that feeling slithers under the soles of my feet:

1. It's your opinion--opinions are only wrong if they are compared to a differing opinion.
2. You're blogging about grammar Nazis; therefore, you already look like an idiot. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot:
3. It's the INTERNET. Get OVER it.

...Back to the subject.

Saying this is indeed quite hypocritical of who I used to be. 

I used to get down right demented when someone would say "me and _____". 

I'd say, "_____ is mean? Why do you hang out with them if they're mean?"

Even now, I still think the response I have all prepared--but I don't say it. 

English is ridiculously important. Not only is someone viewed as iron chewing, inbred ilk if they do not speak it correctly (and succinctly and within a certain threshold of speed and tempo) they're in for one hell of a hard time getting a job without at least base communication skills. I am not supporting the people who cannot be bothered or are just too plain lazy to be 'proper' -finger quotes-, but I really have issue with those of you out there who seem to have taken it upon themselves to be the strict speech sensei from the swollen seventh hell.

The Strict Speech Sensei from the Swollen Seventh Hell says:

"That's WRONG!!!"

Spoiler alert, opinion! 

These are times you should let it go:

1. If it's just a personal conversation
2. If you already 'know' that you are more intelligent than they are
3. Their mistake is completely devoid of humor
4. Any other time other than listed below:

a) They ask you if it's correct or not
b) You're in a class and will be graded lower based on their lack of skills
c) You know misspellings look awful and your boss is going to blame the 'team' even if you dodge the direct blame.

In the end, we really just can't communicate without assuming something or other, can we? We humans--we're a bit of a sorry lot, aren't we? Craziest thing is that to err is human--and apparently so is to judge.

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

Priceless ± $0.00

So let me check my math here.

3 articles = $0.23

$0.23 = 23¢

23¢ = too small to request

too small to request = 0¢

0¢ = $0.00

$0.00 = 3 articles.

3 articles + time = experience

experience = priceless 

priceless ± $0.00

Well, I must admit it's much more difficult to get off of examiner than it is to sign up for it. Yes I only posted three articles in a month's time and had minimal page views, so it's obvious why I did not see any return. I've been doing an extensive amount of thinking about it and I've decided to leave examiner. I did learn quite a few things; but twenty three cents is a joke. I'm out. Site seems cold and vapid compared to this blog anyway (oh, how my mind twists things) and I keep thinking that I would have a lot more fun trying to get 'Ghost of the Android Market' out of the theoretical stage and actually start my reviewing of apps like I wanted to in the beginning.
What am I going to do with the three articles that I wrote for examiner?
When they finally let me leave the site, I am going to use them as examples of my work. That's the plan, at least.

In other news, I did get my other Rice Is My Friend Recipe posted:

That my friends is Macaroni & Mixings. Nice, simple dinner--healthy, gluten-free and tasty.

Next up I will be putting my recipe for pizza up. It is a work in progress for sure, but I am getting closer to perfecting that recipe. You never really realize how much you miss flour until you can't have it--like most things, I guess. I'll let you know when I get the recipe up.

I'm even pondering putting some of my poems up here. Talk about a multiple content site, apparently I am not going to just 'settle in' with any particular topic any time soon. When I do, I'll be sure to confine it to its respective page. ^.^

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

Krispie Recipe

     Well, I posted another recipe in RIMF ("Rice Is My Friend", my gluten free recipe section on this blog) and it took me what felt like forever. This may have a lot to do with the fact that I tend to over-explain things. The beauty of the recipe that I posted is that the one that I originally found was in... how shall I say it... poorly written English. I am glad that it was there, though.

     So now there is that version (which is not gluten free unless altered, may I add) that has a 'I was just translated by a bot' feel to it, and my version (which is in appearance still more difficult than it really is because I wind up explaining all of the options that one has when using this recipe) that I have altered to make tasty and gluten free.

Without further adieu, this is a picture and the link for it:

Gluten Free Rice Krispies Crunch Coating

     It's a crispy coating for meat (or whatever, really) and it is *so* delicious.
This is one of my favorite recipes to use now, seeing the fact that I can no longer consume that wondrous thing called Shake N Bake anymore. The best part about it is that you can add anything you want to it, tailoring it to whatever you are in the mood for or to what complements your dish (or both).

      I am probably going to post another RIMF Recipe tonight. I have one more picture--wait, I lied. I have two more pictures, but one of them is just... kinda... unappetizing. I love cheese on sliced gluten free smokies with cheese whiz in celery sticks on the side, but I am just not sure that it belongs in RIMF Recipes. (Honestly, you're in trouble if you need me to type up how to cut a slice of cheese, microwave a smokie and break down just how you grab a knife and spread processed goo in a chunk of water vegetable into a bullet list.)

       The only partial dilemma that I am facing at this moment is that I am not sure what there is for a non-dairy substitute for Cheese Whiz. No I have not googled it yet--I am going to, for sure--but this is a fun way to spend a little time between typing up recipes. I did mention in the RIMF opener that there may be some recipes that I post that cannot be altered to be dairy free, but I have yet to have 'no substitutions available' in any of them and suddenly I want to keep it that way and it's all personal. If nothing else, I know how to tweak it so it would be a tomato base instead of a cheese. Good fun!

      It occurs to me that I really don't mind typing these recipes up it because it makes me realize just what is involved in the things that I do when I cook, but I must admit it's a little dull sometimes. I've got a sort of template down now so it's much easier, and that helps significantly.

     Nevertheless, I keep taking pictures of my damn dinner before eating it so I'd better make sure I do something worthwhile with it in the end. Picking the best ones and showing them off like this is a neat feeling, though; me gusta. ^.^

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

When Laughter = Rage

Sometimes the hardest thing to do in the moment is let it go. 

Another thing I've noticed--especially in myself--is that laughter is my shortest fuse. Whether someone is laughing at me or not, my mind (in apparent infinite conceitedness) presumes that whomever it may be is laughing at me. From there, depending on the believability (or gullibility) of myself that day, I sink into a deep rage.

Three days ago was a different case--it was not me. 

Could it be that I am not the only one?

     I was minding my own business, driving normally (legal speed limit and everything) and I see this person in a black car (it was a cavalier, don't get excited) and they were changing into the lane behind me. No big, I am already in the fast lane and soon to be passing a slow vehicle--I was not fast enough for the black car's driver, it seems. They promptly pull back over to the right and then race up beside me and right behind the slowpoke. They were trying to pull out in front of me, thus cutting me off.
Obviously, they do not know how to time traffic--I kept the same speed, passing the slug vehicle and leaving the black car tailgating the truck and now incensed. I passed to the proper distance (I hate it when people cut me off, so I don't do it to others) and moved in front of the slug mobile. Captain Black car rips out around the truck and passes me, immediately pulling in front of my car (thus cutting me off) and proceeding to hit their brakes.

Now, I was stressed that day--but all I did was laugh. There was more ridiculousness in traffic between the two of us afterwards, but the interesting thing is that I was not angry. They sure were, judging by how they were acting--so for fun, I tried to fit my feet into their retarded shoes for a moment.
Perhaps they thought I was laughing at them.

They were right.

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte  

Sneaking and Setbacks

Oh, I know.

I am *so* not just 'sneaking' in here after this. 

No way I am getting out of it. 

Some blogger I am, disappearing for how many days?

-my non-existent following weeps-

Come in, Nether. Have a seat.

"I'll stay all cocooned on my couch under a pillow, my laptop and my phone, thanks."

I'll get right to the point then. Have you gotten a lot accomplished in your absence? 

"Yes and no."

Did you do what you set out to do?

"Some of it."

Are you still looking for a job? 

"Yes." 

Is the outlook bleak? 

"Eh… You could call it that."

I am still not giving up. Got myself a stylish resume done up (yes I did it myself, thank you very much--I'm actually decent at it) with a nice set of outlines and good, solid formatting. Made it more ‘point-oriented’ and ‘readable’, if you will.

Have you missed writing this blog? 

"Yes."

Why haven’t you been back to write on it, if that is the case?

"Many reasons."

Anticipating  your feigned curiosity, I shall state them:

1. I have been working on my book (eight page headway, working on some of the writing that needs to be done in order to ultimately link the two main story bodies together),
2. Searching for employment, and
3. Continually attempting to try and re-normalize my world. 

Like most people, my life is not all ·~o°`°ºoº°ßŭƥƥƪƐş°ºoº°´°o~· and crazy good times. I have actually caught myself wistfully dreaming of getting a job--any job, even some seriously dead end one. Too bad there are more closed doors than open ones. It does not matter though; there has to be something out there.

Setbacks:

<<left............................

............................right>>

<........................and center........................>

Have you been neglecting your writing? 

"No."

Have you been neglecting your whole 'freelance' dream?

"Stop asking me questions, you drill sergeant. It’s like you know me or something." 

©reated by ŊetHerŊøte